Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
