Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
high people should be assigned attendants
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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