we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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