Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
