I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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