omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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