LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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