some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
