Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
