is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
