My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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