ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
