When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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