Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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