That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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