We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
