on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
