i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
