I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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