just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I want to be your penis for a week.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
