I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
