i used baking grease as lip gloss
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
