I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Drunk is a universal language darling
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