I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
