the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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