okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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