I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Randomize
