..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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