U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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