Someone shit on the floor
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I skipped work to stalk him.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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