Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
