i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
