They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
