i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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