Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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