If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
