Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
