Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
