i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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