um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
