the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
