i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
wow bdsm is so cute
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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