A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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