I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
