I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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