didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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