I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
tell me about the eggs
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
