I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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