I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
