So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
