so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
